If one is to believe the advertising brochures put out by television service providers, it's all very simple. But, in fact, it's not. In order to wind up zoning out in front of the tube, viewers must wade through the tangled underbrush that has become the German the cable TV- and programming market since viewers have had a choice of more than three government-controlled stations. Add to that the confusion over technical features--after all, who really knows the difference between analog and digital service--and you've got a maddening mess on your hands. The simplest way to understand the system is to take a look at the breakdown of monthly fees into three parts: a fee paid to the GEZ (Gebühreneinzugszentrale--a somewhat archaic tax on TV and radio reception of any kind, leftover from the days when all TV and radio programs were government subsidized,) one incurred by the means of transmission for the video signal and a third fee for pay channels.
Every TV and/or radio owner must first pay a fee to the GEZ. These fees (around € 17 per month) finance public broadcast channels (channels 1, 2 and 3), which, unlike private channels, have rigid advertising restrictions. Regardless of one's interest in watching these stations, registration with the GEZ is mandatory for all those who wish to watch television or even use a TV tuner card in a computer. Registration forms are available at every post office. The mysterious GEZ inspectors, who go from house to house in search of non-registered TVs, are famously feared figures. You should know, however, that they are but private snoops on commission--they have no legal right to enter a private residence.
The second fee depends upon the means of reception used. Until recently, no fees are attached to antennas and satellite dishes--whether analog or digital--in addition to the price of equipment and installation costs paid by a homeowner or included by a landlord in the Nebenkosten (service fees added to the monthly rent.) But, however inexpensive to maintain, antennas--even digital--receive almost no foreign channels. With a digital satellite dish the selection is much larger, but the high installation costs, elaborate wiring and decreased reception during bad weather are significant drawbacks. (RTL and MTV have just entered an agreement on fees for digital TV with the satellite company, Astra. Soon, there will be a standard fee for digital satellite TV.)
For the stress-free acquisition of English-language programs, your best option is to get a cable connection for a monthly fee of about € 17. Ask your landlord whether your apartment or house is already connected. If not, contact a cable company (for example Kabel Deutschland, which also offers English programs. See more information below.) They will fill you in on what it will take, and how much it will cost, to get connected. In most modern housing units, the cable connection is already installed and the costs are included in the Nebenkosten. Residents sometimes do not receive a specific bill. Such a classic analogue cable connection offers around forty channels, including CNN, but no pay-TV.
This is where the third fee comes in. Program packages with English-language channels and channels from other countries are only available on TVs equipped with a digital receiver. Digital access costs up to € 5 per month, if your TV is already hooked up to cable access. For those without digitally-ready TVs, the fee stays at around € 17 per month. With a digital receiver, soon you will be able to receive up to 70 free, digital TV programs and 20 free, digital radio stations. And now you are finally ready to receive pay-TV channels. After subscribing to a program package, you will receive a smart card that, once inserted into your digital receiver, will unscramble the signal of the channels you selected. And finally, after crawling behind the shelf of your private media center trying to understand all the manuals for connecting the cables and wires, you will be rewarded with your favorite programs from the US or the UK.
With their product, Kabel Digital Englisch, Kabel Deutschland--Germany's largest cable provider--offers the widest selection of English-language programs. For € 9 per month, you can receive a packet with sixteen top channels from the US and the UK: CNBC Europe, Sky News, AXN, BBC Prime, National Geographic Channel, ESPN Classic Sport, EXTREME Sports Channel, NASN, MTV Hits, MTV Dance, TOON Disney, VH1 Classic, Sailing Channel, TCM (Turner Classic Movies), Boomerang and BBC World Service. To order, simply call the hotline at (01805) 34 44 05, Mon-Fri., 7:30 am-10 pm, Sat., 6:30 pm-6:00 am. Calls cost 12 cents per minute. For more information, visit their website , where you also can check availability and order.
In sum, before you can pick up the remote, you have to go through three steps: Sign up with the GEZ, equip yourself with digital cable access and purchase the Kabel Digital Englisch package from Kabel Deutschland. With the underbrush of German regulations cleared from your living room, you will finally start to feel at home.
