An April Fool's article
The famous 20-year feud between the Hirschfelds and the Meckeus is over. The two families met last week in Salzburg to celebrate the end of two decades of nasty pranks played upon each other. The reconciliation was enjoyed picnic-style, complete with the traditional Austrian “truce platter” consisting of raw ham, egg liqueur and fried dough. “If I had to scrape toilet paper off my balcony one more time,” laughed Marietta Hirschfeld, “I would have painted a mustache on her garden gnome!” “And if I answered the phone one more time and heard her cow mooing, I would have put cheese in her gas tank,” Helga Meckeu shot back while wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. It is said the neighbors began their battle in 1979, when the now-deceased Bruno Hirschfeld gossiped to townspeople that Helga had inherited her mother’s bad sheep-shearing skills. The rumor spread, and the Meckeus struck the first blow by breaking the heads off every asparagus stalk on the Hirschfeld farm. The peace party lasted until the wee hours. They laughed, they cried, and Uncle Rolf even played the tuba. Bruno’s son, Friedrich, brought a sawed-off musket as a sign of the truce. “I won’t be needing this to run Hänschen Meckeu off my land anymore,” mused the 1978 Salzburg Yodel Champion, “So after today I’ll turn it into a handy pencil case for my daughter.”